theirisianprincess:

captainsnoop:

donate to my kickstarter so i can build a time machine and

  1. get julius caesar addicted to hentai
  2. seduce cleopatra

“oh but how will you seduce cleopatra?” you might ask because you’re a moron. it’s simple: i’m 6′2″ and i’m fat. fatness was considered attractive back then because if you were fat, that meant you were wealthy enough to get fat. plus, 6′2″ is unreasonably gigantically tall in the BC times. 

so cleopatra will be like “a giant? AND he’s got stretch marks?” and she’ll instantly become infatuated with my rotund, hairy body 

then i will live in royalty for the rest of my days. kickstarter backers will have their names written in my tomb, baffling archaeologists for centuries to come. 

My favorite part of this is that OP didn’t feel the need to explain how he’d get Julius Caesar addicted to hentai.

nezua:

phoenix-ace:

girl-non-grata:

Please note: “everyone who works retail, admin, or labor” is pretty much everyone. I can’t remember the last time I worked somewhere without “security” cameras that monitored employees.

I’m having a good laugh right now because our associates just got collectively reprimanded for leaning on the counters during 8 hour shifts on their feet, because it isn’t “professional” looking.  So apparently they can put up with a camera over their shoulder to make sure they do their jobs correctly, but a cop with a gun cant?  

There is only one reason a cop would resist having a bodycam, and it’s the same reason they try to scare you away from filming them and it’s the same reason they’d tape over their badges and it’s the same reason racists love the Anon feature and it’s the same reason the KKK wears hoods.

candiikismet:

ohmysaintedpyjamas:

solluxisms:

mcnerds:

bright-coat-and-bravado:

grawly:

what the fuck. what the fuck how. how the hell.

“how the hell” is the fact that flight paths are ENTIRELY PRE-PROGRAMMED AND SCHEDULED. This is trivial.

“Technology has gotten so precise that it is possible to sync the image on an enormous video screen with the movements of an actual, real life, giant flying machine carrying hundreds of human beings thousands of meters up into the air. This is trivial.”

It’s absolutely not trivial, because it means that a flight somehow took off when scheduled.

^^^ HAHAHAHAHAHA

That’s brilliant